Low Places

music, Pop Culture, sports, writing

The smell of corn dogs and funnel cakes coated the air and Bob Seger’s “Main Street” played on the staticky speakers when Jake spotted me standing in line for the Tilt-a-Whirl. He wore a purple button-down and jeans. And that smile. Always that smile.

That memory about a junior college crush led me down a rabbit hole of journal entries and early 1990s music. Back then “big-hat” country played on all of our stereos, and Garth Brooks was its king. Listening to him, 20-year-old me swore the connections I made then would last forever.

Read the rest of my piece on how Garth Brooks shaped my college memories at Kelly J. Baker’s Cold Takes as part of her Albums Series.

Why should my daughter be responsible for your son’s thoughts?

family, Girlpower, Health, life, Parenting, Pop Culture

I’m tired of people telling girls how they shouldn’t dress, how they shouldn’t dance, how they shouldn’t talk, how they shouldn’t wear their makeup, how they shouldn’t BE.

STOP! Enough with the shaming and blaming and lecturing. It’s time to accept that girls are not pretty playthings out to destroy boys and lead them down the path of wickedness. They are intelligent, strong, beautiful creatures made in God’s image and should be treated with respect. Even if you don’t like what they’re wearing.

Two occurrences brought about this post: a sermon and a viral blog post. I moved the first event to the back of my mind, but when the second happened, I knew I had to say something. Here’s that something.

The last time I wanted to get up in the middle of a church sermon and walk out, a preacher was talking politics. This time a pastor was discussing modesty.

“Girls, if it causes a guy, when he looks at you, not to be able to think about Jesus, then you probably have made the wrong decision.” And he went on to say that he didn’t mean only in church, and said no telling how many guys have made bad grades.

My brain and my heart were all, “Say what?!” I kept waiting for him to say something about boys controlling their thoughts. Or respecting girls no matter what. And I kept waiting. And waiting. And I’m still waiting.

I was so disheartened and shocked that I tuned out the rest of the sermon. I just kept thinking, “Boys have no responsibility for taking their minds off Jesus? Girls are to blame? That’s not right!” I scribbled furiously on the bulletin. And I was so upset that I called my mom and railed to her as soon as church was out.

Then this week a blog post made the rounds via social media, (and, no, I’m not linking to it) in which a mom of boys told girls who post “sexy” selfies that they cause her sons to look at them in a sexual way, and therefore, they are not good enough for her sons.

My daughter takes dance classes. She wears shorts and a sports bra to some of them. If your son sees her walk from the studio door to my vehicle and then has naughty thoughts, who’s fault is that? Not my daughter’s, that’s for sure.

Why are we teaching girls to shoulder the blame for how boys think?

Soon folks will be telling girls it’s their fault they were sexually harassed or abused or raped. Oh, wait … THAT’S ALREADY HAPPENING!

Do you think a boy has sexual thoughts only when he sees a girl’s shoulders? Or midriff or thighs? Really? A stiff breeze caused my high school male friends to have those thoughts. And sexual thoughts at this age are normal.

Teach your sons to NOT think of girls as sexual objects. Why not teach boys to RESPECT girls no matter what they wear? Or don’t wear? (I bet boys are quite capable of understanding this. They are smart, strong, beautiful creatures made in God’s image, too.)

I’m teaching my daughter to dress appropriately for the occasion (though she won’t always listen, so don’t shame her for it). I’m teaching her to not judge others for what they wear, have, or look like. And that nothing you post on the internet is truly private. But I’m not freaking out when she wants to wear a strapless dress out to dinner. Or a two-piece to the pool. Or when she does a stupid duckface selfie in her pajamas, with no bra. Or when she sees your shirtless son on the track and thinks he’s “hot.” I’m teaching her that sexual thoughts are normal, and I’m teaching her how to handle them.

Here’s a terrific post – Seeing A Woman – to help you do the same for your sons.

Comments? Please leave one.

Songs that remind me of boys

life, music, Pop Culture

Music can set the mood, offer motivation, or take you down memory lane. Well, let’s take a stroll through my glorious teenage years when my hair was big, “holding hands meant something,” and these songs played on the radio.

1. Wild Wild West, The Escape Club – 10th-grade crush – He had the bluest eyes, spiked hair, was “so fine,” to use the vernacular of the ’80s, and was a year younger. “I love her eyes and her wild, wild hair” was the lyric, which I, of course, changed to “his eyes and his hair.”

2. Rock Me Amadeus, Falco – 8th-grade crush – I think we sat around singing the song during math class, and he would quote some “Saturday Night Live” joke about “I mean, hey, french toast …” I don’t even know what that was.

3. When It’s Love, Van Halen – Summer-after-my-senior-year fling – He is an actor now, and during the summer of ’90, we hung out when two of his friends were dating my friends. He made me laugh, and he was different from all the boys I knew. It was fun while it lasted. (See also: Epic, Faith No More)

4. Neon Rainbow, Alan Jackson – Senior-year crush – I had the biggest crush on this basketball player. We finally went out, and he promptly fell asleep during the movie on our first date. I like to think it wasn’t me … he was just bored by the Steven Segal movie! I think we went out once more and that was that. Now we’re Facebook friends.

Things seemed much simpler then. But were they really? I think so. What about you?

And what songs remind you of your Teenage Dream?

 

Bon Jovi 45 and other treasures

music, Pop Culture

When it comes to divorce, it’s about more than a marriage ending. It’s also about splitting up all your stuff! While we’ve taken care of everything in the house, we still need to dig through the boxes of past lives in the attic. So that’s what I was doing when I found this:

45.2
Yes. That is a 45 rpm. A record. A vinyl disc with a hole in the middle. You play it on a record player. It cost me $1.63 plus tax at Walmart, probably in 1986.

“Living on a Prayer” was in a box with two old diaries (one from high school, one from junior college), three New Kids on the Block t-shirts (two concert, one fan club), old cassette tapes and VHS videos, old letters (sadly, none about love), high school and college transcripts and other memorabilia.

One of the aforementioned cassette tapes contained some rare gems mined from Top 40 radio back in the late ’80s and early ’90s. Like this:

And this:

I’ve been rocking like it’s 1992 in my truck (the location of the only cassette player I have) on the way to and from work every day. Man, I love these songs … and the memories they bring … before I got serious about a boy, before responsibilities, when the possibilities of life were endless …

Then the tape stops and I’m snapped back to reality. But only until it flips to the other side and I hear this (Dude? Cornrows? Really? SMH):

 

Peace out, y’all!

Beer and ball

music, Pop Culture, sports, Sports/Fitness

For me, music and sports go together like milk and fresh-from-the-oven brownies. Whether it’s hearing Alabama’s Rammer Jammer cheer or “Crazy Train” when Atlanta’s Chipper Jones steps up to the plate or “I’m Bad” while working out, music gets me fired up.

So as the Boys of Summer get ready to make a run for October and the Boys of Fall kick off their season, I’ve got singer/musician Chris Blake here to talk about how music makes the sports we love even better.

Chris, whose latest EP Girl is just out, explains why sports and music are so intertwined. “Music does so much to bring the game to a new level–particularly baseball,” he says. “Music accompanies celebration, loss, traditions like the 7th-inning stretch. It adds to the tension, like when the organist plays Charge! during a two-out, bases-loaded situation.

“Music also keeps us entertained in a big way during the breaks between innings–like when the little kid starts playing air guitar to Don’t Stop Believin’ at Dodger Stadium!”

While Chris enjoys a few college football match-ups each year, baseball is his real love. The Southern Cal Trojan says, “The only reason I ever really watched football games back in college was to drink beer.”

However, he figured out that baseball was much more conducive to beer-drinking. “You could lose an entire inning waiting in line for a Coors Light and still come back to your seat and not have missed anything.”

A Chicago White Sox fan, 2005 was a big year for Chris and his family as the team won the World Series. “Along the way (catcher) A.J. Pierzynski brought (Journey’s) Steve Perry along for the ride, and now, even though I had such strong childhood memories attached to ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ ’, all I can think of when I hear it now is how amazing it was at that moment when the Sox somehow managed to go all the way.

Want to know more about the 7th sexiest man on Twitter? RSVP for The Music Mamas Twitter Party happening Friday night from 8-9:30 Central, and join us for a chat with Chris and a chance to win an iPod touch and his CD Girl.

Playing ball when you’re deaf

Girlpower, Health, Parenting, Pop Culture, Sports/Fitness

She’s come a long way since she got her first glove.

Riley’s had two softball practices with another set for Saturday. She’s paying better attention this year, but we still need to figure out a better way to communicate than just yelling at her. It’s hard for anyone to hear a coach yelling from the dugout during a game and even harder when you’re hearing impaired. That’s one reason we’re considering an FM system … so she can hear easily whether she’s on the field, in the classroom or out in the backyard.

Another family offered to let Riley try out the system their children no longer use, so I think a phone call is in order. Of course, the system will have to be tweaked to complement Riley’s hearing and programs, but we should get started on this soon.

The first two practices were COLD – the poor girls were bundled up so tightly they could barely move! And you know how much it hurts when you swing the bat and don’t hit the ball solidly. Ouch!

She batted right-handed the first practice and did OK, but she switched back to being a lefty the second day and did even better. I’m going to let her decide how she’s most comfortable at the plate. Lefty or righty, it’s her choice.

The coach worked her out at second base and Riley did really well for her first time on the field since May. Several of the other girls played throughout the fall and are also playing on a travel team during the community season, too. They’re getting a lot more reps, but Riley will catch up.

I’m the dugout mom again – keeping the batting order; making sure helmets, batting gloves and bats are where they’re supposed to be; helping the catcher get dressed; bandaging any scrapes or strawberries; and yelling for mom or dad if I can’t help. Basically, several moms are tag-teaming to take care of everything from uniforms to snacks to picture day to concession duty.

We’re all ready for spring and softball and warm weather.

Happy Birthday to Jon Bon Jovi

Girlpower, Pop Culture

JBJ as seen through my 12x optical zoom lens and the big screen.

Today is my rock star fantasy’s birthday: JBJ is 48 and still rockin’.

Here’s a bit about how this love affair started:

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My journey into infatuation started in the mid-1980s. I was about 14 and just getting into MTV. Long hair, tight leather pants and ripped shirts were all the rage. And I’m not talking about the ladies.

One band surpassed all others in every way…music, looks, number of cans of Aqua Net … Bon Jovi was the baddest, the coolest and the hottest. To use the slang of the day, lead singer Jon was fine. And I was hooked.

As a teenager, I didn’t have the means to buy the albums or go to the concerts. I started my collection by obsessively listening to the Top 40 countdown shows on the radio, tape recorder at the ready. “Casey, would you stop talking over the intro!” I wore those cassettes out, playing “Livin’ on a Prayer” and “Bad Medicine” over and over and over.

I taped their videos, their appearances, anything I saw. I have no idea where those tapes are now, but I wish I could find them.

Yes, I changed the words to “I was born to your baby, you were born to be my man.” Yes, I imagined getting backstage and meeting Jon. (Get your minds out of the gutter – he was always a perfect gentleman. And back then I wasn’t as well educated as the kids are now.) Yes, I begged my mom to let me go to their concert in Huntsville just before I turned 16 … no dice.

Fifteen years later, just as I was about to turn 30, part of my fantasy was fulfilled. I was in the same building as Jon. Oh, my gosh … finally I got to see my Jersey boys in all their glory! And I was not disappointed.

It was like going back to high school…I felt like a schoolgirl, screaming and dancing and singing every song.

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I’ve seen Bon Jovi twice more since then, and unless I hit the jackpot, I doubt I’ll see them in April in Nashville. Ticket prices continue to climb, and I can’t justify $150 for a ticket stuck in the middle of an arena, where I can barely even see Jon, where my camera batteries will die five minutes into the show because I’m so far back I have to use the flash, where my photos will come out grainy because I have to shoot the big screen in order to even see Jon’s face, plus finding someone who can afford to go with me … and so on.

They’re pricing fans out of their shows, and it’s unfortunate. Even being a fan club member got me no perks … unless you consider $1,500 for a front-row ticket a perk. Sure it’d be a priceless experience, but sometimes the price is just too high.

The ever-increasing cost of seeing my favorite band live tends to dampen my love a bit. It’s disappointing that longtime fans have to spend so much money just to get decent seats. Meanwhile, bands and brokers and promoters are raking in the dough. It’s frustrating and unfair.

At least I’ll always have my fantasies.

As close as I’ll likely get to JBJ, and with a 12x optical zoom. Sigh. In Nashville, 2008.

Jonathan Tyler and The Northern Lights

music, Pop Culture

Kim and I headed to Crossroads in the pouring rain to hear Jonathan Tyler and The Northern Lights. I have been waiting for this day for more than a year now.

We got there early and headed for the bar and a drink. We camped out in a booth near the sound board and waited. It wasn’t long before I spotted bassist Nick Jay and introduced myself. We chatted for a moment then he went to change clothes for the show.

A few minutes later, out of the corner of my eye, I see a guy walking up to the bar. Yep, it was Jonathan Tyler. I waved and went to say hi. Bless his heart, he remembered our conversation on Twitter, and he came over and talked to me and Kim.

Soon we were hanging out at the pool tables watching JT, Nick, Jordan Cain (drums), Brandon Pinckard (guitar) and Jimmy (tour manager) rack ’em and break ’em before showtime. The guys were easy to talk to and seemed genuinely interested in what we had to say.

Once onstage, joined by fabulous vocalist Mo Brown, the band did not disappoint. Opening with a cut off their upcoming album Pardon Me, slated for release in April, they got the crowd, though sparse, moving. From my post leaning on the stairs, I could see folks bobbing their heads, tapping their toes and doing that little shoulder shake we all do when we hear something we like.

They played two of my favorites Slow Train and Gypsy Woman, and though I’m sure I looked a fool, I couldn’t help but dance while shooting some photos. Good music always makes you move.

Their music? Gritty, honest, soulful, Southern, bluesy rock. But listen yourself. And don’t let Jonathan’s soft-spoken, sweet voice fool you. This man can sing, with power. JTNL are not some little bar band hoping to make some cash. They have played with Lynyrd Skynyrd, Kid Rock, AC/DC, even drawing a huge crowd, and an unheard of encore, at the Austin City Limits Music Fest.

After the much-too-short set, Kim and I finally met Mo and Brandon, took advantage of photo ops and the merch table, and shared a round of shots with the band. Maker’s Mark. (And I managed to stay upright.) We got the scoop from poet, playwright, author and singer-songwriter Mo, chit-chatted with the dudes and watched a few games of pool before it was time to load out.

All in all, it was one of the best music experiences I’ve ever had. Not only are they great musicians, they are nice, asking about our lives and including us in the conversation. Now that’s how you connect with fans … and keep them.

Jonathan Tyler and The Northern Lights are going to make it big. Right now, they’re touring the country, and if you get a chance to hear them, take it. I promise you won’t regret it.